Conversation:
MOm: Now why don’t you get your sister a job there?
Me:Because the manager is a huge DOUCHE BAG.
silence…
Mom: Your sister is a douche bag.
Me LOLing.
Mom: What? you said it! It’s kind of a nice thing to say…douche bag douche bag….she drinks all my wine…
2 months agoI was talking to my mom the other day about Mary…conversation went like this:
(Talking about household chores and daily goings on)
Me: Yeah, see now I’M the golden child!
Mom: Yeah your sister isn’t even tin, she isn’t even wood. She has a looooong way to go before she works her way up to CARDBOARD.
My sister moved back home (with me) and my parents. Great, good thing we share a bed room and she leaves sunflower seed shells around the house like a pregnant chipmunk.
Anyway, my dad sat us down to tell us the “rules” apparently at 22 and 24 we still need rules…
The quote of the night? “I don’t want you two fighting about OH! She stole my bra…she took my tampaxes! She stole my clothes! You both have different sized boobs and and you both have different clothes”
2 months ago
Hey look everyone^ I just graduated from there. Well technically I never had any classes in THall buuuut the building is like the symbol of our school soooo yeah man.
But wait no literally I just graduated on Saturday…or at least I finished up all my course-work, I still need to receive my diploma so who knows maybe I didn’t. Oh this is the sister of Mary, but I prefer to be called Emily. Yeah this summer was like a test-drive of parental living, but now I don’t have a job so it’s going to be worse because I have no way of escaping the house, and no form of moneys except for my savings account. It’s been like 3 days and I’m already going a little nuts.
Also, really weird to be back in the tri-town area as I went to private HS and then boarding school, then college, then summers on the cape. SO I really have not spent any extended amount of time here since I was about 14 years old. And now I get to look forward to having 8.5 year reunions with people at the bars and having no idea who anyone is.
Alrightio well that was just to acquaint you with me. Here’s my living with my parent blurb for the day
SO I had to wake up early today after drinking like a lot last night at the bar, so that I could get my tires changed and my mom would bring me back. Already that was gross. So I hop into her car, and then of course it’s not “ok let’s go back home” it was like okay actually we are going to run some errands now. And I mean really I was hungover, and hungry, (the two ways of being “hung” that are bad) and my tummy hurt, and I felt like I was 8 years old again having to go to the store with my mommy. But then I was really feeling sick, so I made her give me her keys so I could wait in the car…also like I was 8 years old again. Oh but before I went outside a Heiniken mini-keg for $19.99 caught my eye so I bought it….NOT like being 8 years old again.
4 months agoSTEP 2:
Take pictures of bathroom graffiti that on 2.5 hours of sleep and 3 beers in seems oddly profound.
4 months agoSTEP 1:
Pack the car to the absolute max - so full you can’t see out the rearview mirror but still have to leave behind nearly all your sentimental and practical worldly professions. But don’t worry there’ll always be room for a box of wine in the backseat.
Hey all -
Kate here - I’m moving Los Angeles and I’ll be blogging my travels on my other tumblr “kkill” check it out at kkill.tumblr.com and i’ll be reblogging here.
Thanks!!
4 months agoMom: Now I know GAIL didn’t do it, and Mary hasn’t been here, so WHO used my WHITE towels to wipe off their make-up?
Me: Yeah and you told me I’m a guest in your house and you left it out so I used it and I haven’t done it all summer.
Mom: Ohh yeah like ‘I haven’t murdered anyone all summer” yeah okaay
Me: Are you comparing me getting a wash-cloth dirty to murder??
5 months ago
Mary gave me the email and password to this site a while ago….I should have been posting all summer long when I was living with our parents. Let me get this straight, I am still finishing up school, as in I should have graduated in May but instead I am not. In order to make some cash moneys when I only have a semester left of school, I have retained my job as a professional ass-kisser (aka waitress) in Cape Cod. That means that every weekend I get the pleasure of living with my parents. Last weekend I brought some delicious Red Hook beer down with me from NH. I drank four beers, the next day my mom is telling me how I drink too much beer and that she could have a 12-pack and it would last her like a whole month. She said she can drink one beer and that’s all she needs. She says this as she is on her umpteenth glass of wine of the day, I can’t really tell how many because I was working. However I do decide to pull the wine bottle out of the fridge that she opened the day before and show her it’s half empty and say “REALLY MOM?? REALLY??”
SHe also got mad that I stole ONE ROLL of toilet paper to bring back to my apartment. I’m sorry but I’m not about to buy a whole pack of toilet paper when I’m only at school 4 days a week.
5 months ago
Hello Cyber friends!
I know you guys are my true and real friends because you all support this website because you still live with your parents. The other two “members” of this site have given up all hope of being number uno website and have abandoned ship. Or should I say house? The Mr. Brian May has moved out of his house and away from home to live with his girlfriend. That sounds way too mature and adult.
The other member, CEO and FOUNDER of this website was all like, “See ya parents I’m moving cross country.” She’s no longer my BFF. Have fun in L.A. you meanie.
So I am left, the loser, still living with my parents.
Yea. This calls for a BIG FML!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 months agoWhat does that even mean?
My dad come in my room…here’s the convo…
Dad: Your mother and I were both born at night….
Me: okay….
Dad: Do you understand what I am saying?
Me: No…
Dad: We were both born at night, and it wasn’t last night. And while you are bunking with A RABBIT don’t get into a predicament like Karin Johnston.
5 months ago
Dad just told me I’m acting like I have some kind of problem. “What are you a blue collar factory worker… drinking cans of beer??!”
5 months agomom and dad just called me an alcoholic and a degenerate gambler. all because they came home to find me watching a tivo-ed episode of mad men and drinking *gasp* TWO beers. let’s get this straight kids, in the two hours i have been home from work i’ve had not one… but TWO whole beers. my dad proceeded to yell at me saying that young women do NOT come home from work and drink two beers. he is very disappointed in me. i guess i’ll just put the rest of these DELICIOUS bud lights in the downstairs fridge so that you won’t have to look at them when you are reaching in for your 5th glass of wine tonight. oh no! i dropped one! made a hole! guess that means i’ll be having THREE beers tonight. wouldn’t want that one to go to waste.
now if only they knew i lost $200.00 at the casino last night….
5 months ago
I heart that my daddy and the fact that he HEARTS the three stooges.
6 months ago